I was never destined to be skinny. I was not naturally athletic and always leaned towards a chubby physique. I was "soft" at best. There were too many factors, growing up, that would keep me from attaining the body I wanted. Asthma and allergies prevented me from being outside for too long. My paranoid parents were too strict to actually let me be outside anyway, for fear of my being snatched and ending up on the 10 o'clock news. They worked a lot and it was up to me to feed myself during my pivotal growth years. I was that kid in the Pediasure commercial - anything green or good for me? Forget it! I chose activities that required more brain than brawn. I flexed my mental muscles on a daily basis while I let my physical muscles atrophy.
Through high school and college I managed to stay in the "healthy" weight range for my height (which is short). Then I was thrust into the "Real World," and not the 7 strangers picked to live in an awesome pad and do nothing but drink and party kind of real world. I got a job where I was paid to sit in front of a computer day in and day out. Add in the constant eating out, snacks, and happy hours - as I'm sure you can figure out, my figure suffered. Then my parents decided to get divorced. That was the real catalyst for the predicament I'm currently in. I am an emotional eater, and I don't handle my emotions well. When my now husband proposed, I decided here's my chance. I HAVE to lose weight for the wedding. And I did. I lost about 15 lbs...but all for naught since I have since gained them all back (we only got married a year ago!) plus a few more.
I am finally truly, deeply sick of what I look like, what size clothes I currently wear, and how I feel about myself. I have decided to take a journey to the past and get back the happiness and confidence I have lost along the way. How am I going to do it you ask? Well, I am finally going to learn to eat properly and exercise regularly. I have had an aversion to hard work when it comes to improving myself but no more excuses. I am going to try to let go of all the unnecessary stress I allow myself to worry about. But most importantly, I am going to try to learn to love myself just as I am. I want to let myself, not my weight, go.
Here I am in the obligatory "before" picture. This pic was taken a couple of weeks ago while my family and I were on vacation in England. Hopefully this picture will soon just be something for me to laugh at...instead of something to be completely mortified about.
