Be Content & Thankful

Today's post will not really be fitness/weight loss related. In honor of Thanksgiving, I have decided to dedicate this post to being thankful, because gratitude is not something I express nearly as often as I should.

Friday is Black Friday - one of the best days of the year if you love to shop like me. I get off merely on the excitement, but I refuse to be one of those pushy and rude customers - I'm happy to wait my turn. This week I have been pondering what to buy, perusing the sales ads of my favorite places to shop on Black Friday (Target, Best Buy). This week, I came to the realization that there really isn't anything I NEED. I told the hubs that I was finally content with everything that I have that the need to buy stuff just for the sake of buying stuff wasn't all that important. He said "WOW! It only took 26 years..." haha.

I now believe that life isn't about having what you want, it's wanting what you have (I think Sheryl Crow has been singing this sentiment for years...). Now don't get me wrong. I will still be with the crazed shoppers at the Outlets on Thursday night, checking out everything the stores have to offer. I do want to buy some more workout pants and work shoes but I will not buy something just because I want to buy something. I will not be saddened if I leave the stores without bags and bags of stuff. And I am mentally preparing myself to put stuff back on the rack if I am at all unsure if I want it.

This new outlook also relates back to my weight loss journey in a way. I am becoming more confident in who I am and where I am. There are certainly days where I feel ugly and fat and completely unmotivated. But those days are dwindling in frequency. Most days I feel pretty happy with myself. Happy that I'm not where I was and happy that I will be in a better place in the future. There's no turning back for me. I am 18 lbs lighter than I was this time last year. There will always be someone prettier, smarter (not by much though :-P) and in better shape than I am. But on the flip side, there will always be people who feel how I used to feel about myself and life. There will always be someone richer who has things that I want. And there will always be people who want what I have, what money can't always buy: a mostly happy, albeit crazy, family, a forgetful but loving and understanding husband, real friends I can count on, a roof over my head, food on my table, clothes on my back, shoes on my feet, my health and sanity (most days) =)

I hope you all feel what I feel right now. If not, take solace in knowing that I was once where you are and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Wishing things were different will not do you any good. Neither will hating others for having what you want. Deciding to be happy is your choice - take it from me, the more often than not pessimist.

Forgive Yourself

I seriously NEED to forgive myself this week. I have been doing terrible at keeping motivated and eating right. The weather, much like myself, has been all over the place - it was warm, then rainy, then cold and windy. Ugh. Too many distractions and too many excuses. I have only fit in 3 workouts (so far) this week. Normally by now I've done 4-5. I do plan on hitting the gym today - I hope I have the willpower to follow through.

Last night I hit the gym. I stepped onto the treadmill and walked. The first 5 mins were fine. Then I started to run. PAIN! Ugh..I know I said I would do the elliptical until my leg felt better but I lied. I ran for two minutes and walked for then next 30 or so. Sigh. I did the elliptical for an hour on Wednesday but it was kind of boring. I guess I will just have to alternate between the elliptical and the stationary bike (which I hate because it hurts my butt). Those bikes are not made for people with short legs and the pads are not meant for people with butts. Ouch. I was feeling sorry for myself after the gym and on the way home I heard this on the radio:

So I felt a little bit better. This past weekend and week has been terrible for me but it can't completely undo all the hard work I've been doing for the past two months. So I've got to forgive myself and keep in mind that "two steps forward and one step back is still one step forward."

On a happy note, I'm excited to watching Breaking Dawn tonight. Nerd, you say? Yes! And damn proud of it! Happy weekend all!!

Weekend of Shame

I get the difference. But sometimes setbacks still make you feel like a failure. This past weekend was a setback. I had Popeyes for lunch on Friday. And not just a piece of chicken - 2 pieces of dark meat, fries, a biscuit and a Coke. It was so gloriously delicious. That night the hubs and I went to the gym around 10:30 because we stayed home to catch up on Fringe (great show btw) and didn't get home until after midnight. YAY for 24-hour gyms! We lifted weights - did the P90x shoulders and arms series - then ran on the treadmill. I did Day 2 of Week 4 of the Couch-to-5K training guide. I decided that I would try to do 3.1 miles - following the guide for the first two miles and then letting my body/lungs decided on how to handle the last 1.1 miles. My goal was to run it in 40 mins. I missed it by 15 seconds. Took me 40 mins and 15 seconds to run 3.1 miles. Kind of sad but glad I stuck to it instead of walking when my brain told me I couldn't run anymore. 

On Saturday we celebrated the hubs' and bro-in-law's bdays by playing poker at Charles Town, WV. I didn't do too bad - not great either. But because I had a Lasik consultation in the morning and then we headed to WV right after, I wasn't able to fit in a workout. By the time we had gotten home, around 11, I was to tired to hit the gym. And we had Wendy's for dinner! Delicious but certainly not nutritious.

Sunday wasn't any better. My fitness assessment was canceled on Thursday by the trainer and was rescheduled for Sunday. Jay and I were both supposed to do it. But he woke up with major ankle pain and the pain in my leg from running came back with a vengeance. We were both in a lot of pain on Sunday so we took it easy - "running" errands and I caught up on housework - vacuumed and did all the laundry. I even cooked so we'd have dinner for Monday night. I'm such a good wife. That night we went to Carrabba's for dinner with my fam to celebrate Jay's birthday. I got the seafood cannelloni - which is to DIE for. And I think I ate my weight in bread...AND had a cupcake! T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E!!! But I weighed myself this morning, scared of what the number would be, and it was pretty much the same as before the "weekend of shame".

Yesterday, we went to the gym and did the P90x chest and back series. I told Jay that I was afraid of bulking up so we picked 6 workouts and I had to do 4 sets of 15 reps of a lesser weight. I don't feel sore today but it was really tough to get through the 6 workouts. Then I tried the last day of Week 4 of the 5K training. I did ok...but I had to take a couple of pauses because of the pain in my leg / my tendinitis. Jay said I should probably stop running before I cause some damage but my fear is that as soon as I stop, I won't be able to pick it back up once I'm all better. Now that week 4 is done, I think I'll do the elliptical for the rest of the week until I feel good enough to start week 5. 

Centreville Lifetime is closed this week for renovations so we've been going to Gold's since we have our membership until the end of the month. Which means our two-a-days will be put on pause until next week. We were supposed to go to the gym today but Jay needs to renew his license (today is his birthday!!!) so I think we'll end up going straight to dinner once he's done. I'm not looking at it as a setback. I'm looking at it as a great way to relax with the hubby. I'll be back to the grind tomorrow and won't take any more "rest" days this week unless I break something. *Fingers crossed that doesn't happen!*

Pity Party

Haha. Someday, hopefully, I'll look graceful when I run. Like a gazelle. Anyway, I'm fairly unmotivated today. You would think that I'd have energy the day before a long weekend (I get Veteran's Day off) but nope! Even good music isn't working. Not entirely sure why. It's probably the weather; it's cold and rainy and generally gross. It could also be that I did not get a whole lot of sleep last night. The hubs and I did another back-to-back. We did Strike and hot yoga and didn't get home until after 10. By the time I showered and felt relaxed enough to sleep, it was already midnight. Maybe I can take a nap before the gym later.

Today I have my free "fitness assessment" at Lifetime. I'm a little bit scared and thought about rescheduling it but there's no point in delaying the inevitable. I might as well just do it, get it over with, and quit worrying about it. I want to talk to them about what I am (possibly) doing wrong. I have been consistently working out for at least an hour 4-5 days a week for about 4 weeks now and been eating fairly good too. But the number on the scale still fluctuates. Jay says I'm not working out enough to burn off what I'm eating but I've been counting calories. I've been trying to eat more fruits and veggies. Maybe I'm not eating enough? I know what the scale says doesn't take into account muscle and I've lost about half an inch from my waist over the last couple of weeks. But for some reason that's not all too comforting. Although today my "skinny" jeans that I bought when I first started losing weight fit better today. I think by Thanksgiving they should fit perfectly.

Sometimes it's totally discouraging. I read all these blogs/watch shows where people lose weight quickly by eating healthy, working out, cutting out soda, etc. I'm doing all these things and yet nothing seems to be working. Granted, they usually have a LOT more to lose than me - like 100 lbs more - but it's still frustrating. Oh well. I'm trying to look at it more as I need to get healthy vs. I need to get skinny.

I've heard that a lot of stress will make you keep the weight on. For those of you who don't know, I'm a completely high-strung stress ball. I'm seriously trying to calm the *eff* down and relax. I think that's why I'm starting to enjoy yoga so much. I feel at peace once class is over...even though during class I'm screaming obscenities in my head when the instructor holds a pose for too long. Hahaha.

Ok. My pity party is over. Time to be positive again :-) I'm so looking forward to this weekend. Spending time with friends, Harry Potter (YAY!), and poker. Woot!

You Are What You Eat

This is exactly how I feel most days. My favorite foods consist of anything deep fried and greasy. However, those desires are waning, little by little. Although I wouldn't mind a nice juicy burger from Shake Shack. *Drool* Ok, back to the healthy stuff. As you know, I have been logging my daily food intake through MyFitnessPal. It basically tells me that in order to lose a pound a week, I would need to consume only 1200 calories. If I work out, I get to eat whatever calories I burned. However, I don't think that 1200 calories is anywhere near where I should be. It has forced me to try to make better choices but I find myself hungry all the time. So I've decided that I should probably eat closer to 1500 calories to stay satisfied. Plus the hubs said that 1200 cals would make my body think it's "starving" and will probably hold onto the fat more. I think I learned that in Health 101 in college. So it's justification for my eating slightly more.

Yesterday the hubs and I did another round of hot yoga. This was a more "advanced" class so she went a lot faster. This meant a lot more sweat. And by a lot, I mean buckets full more. Gross. But by the end of class, my shirt was all stretched out and a totally different color than when we had arrived. It was awesome. Then we (I say we but I really mean me) decided to start week 4 of the Couch to 5K training schedule. This week's schedule consists of 16 minutes (broken up into 2-3 min and 2-5 min sections) of running and 10.5 minutes of walking, which includes the 5 minute warm up walk. I normally walk at 3.5 mph, sometimes 3.2 after the run to try to get my heart rate down. I normally run between 5.5-6 mph. Yesterday, I was able to do all 16 minutes at 5.5 and not feeling like dying. I wasn't running fast but I was so excited that I was able to do the 5 min run straight without having to slow down the speed or take a break. I did have to look down at the time and tell myself "OK, only three minutes. Only two minutes. Only one more minute." By the end of the run, I had a HUGE grin on my face. I guess the gradual training is really working on my endurance. Plus I got over 2 miles in under 30 minutes. Effing awesome (maybe not to you runners out there but pretty awesome for a couch potato like me!). I think if I hadn't done a whole 5 min warm up walk, I could have done 2.5 miles in 25 mins. I'm getting closer and closer to my goal of running the 5k in 30 minutes or less. Just like a pizza...mmmmm....pizza.

On a side (and somewhat random) note, as I have said before, our gym is 24 hours. So by the time we left, it was around 10:30 pm. What I don't get is that there are people who shower at the gym before going home. That late? Why not just shower at home? Isn't it more convenient? You could argue they're saving on their electric and water bill but wouldn't you like to rest your feet a little before hopping in the shower? Plus isn't it a pain to have to wear shower shoes and tote around your shower stuff? Also, there was a girl who was all dressed up and putting on makeup. At 10:30 on a Monday?! Where the heck are you going? And how do I get to live an exciting life like that? She must be in college or something. Needless to say, by the time we got home, the hubs and I were pretty ready to pass out. Oh to be 21 again...

Oh well. 26 is shaping up to be a great year :-) Get it, shaping up?! Teehee - off to the gym!

Doing Something Right

Or you could be doing something wrong...in my case, it's a little of both. My body is sore from doing Strictly Strength at the gym with the hubby yesterday. I hate lifting weights - partly because I tend to bulk up fast. But everyone says you need to do some sort of resistance training because building lean muscle helps burn more calories while at rest. That's the good sore. The bad sore is the pain I'm still getting in my leg when I run. The pain is worse in the right leg. However, the pain comes and goes so hopefully it's just strain from the cardio I now do that I never did before. I can now run for 3 straight minutes before I want to die. That's quite an accomplishment since I used to want to turn off the treadmill after 1 minute. I'm not running very fast but the speed will come once the endurance gets built. Progress is progress, even if it's slow.

I have been weighing myself consistently and I think I just need to put an end to that. It can really mess with your head. I tend to fluctuate up and down 2 pounds. My clothes aren't getting tighter so I'm chalking it up to building more muscle (muscle weighs more than fat for those of you who don't know) and water weight. I've been drinking a TON of water lately - I seem to always be thirsty. And hungry. I am trying to snack on the right foods but I find myself almost eating my lunch before lunchtime rolls around. I guess I should eat heavier breakfasts. Trainers and nutritionists say that eat oatmeal in the morning is great because it keeps you full and gives you energy. Well, they must be paid by Quaker Oats because it does none of that for me. I will eat one bowl of oatmeal (blech) and be hungry within 30 minutes. And energy? Lies!!! I need to find a more filling (and satisfying - taste wise) breakfast to keep me fueled throughout the day. I'm still learning how to balance my diet. Again, I eat fine throughout the week and then it blows up on the weekend. But I'm trying to not beat myself up about that. Yesterday, I had half a red velvet cupcake and about a third of a Caribou Coffee campfire mocha and I enjoyed every minute of it :-) Today, I don't reget it...not totally at least.

The hubs said he wants to start doing two-a-days by going to our gym at 5:30 am (our new gym is 24 hours). Our only problem is getting to sleep early enough to make getting up at 5 am doable. I'm the type of person that CANNOT function on less than 7-8 hours of sleep. Getting enough sleep is one way to lose weight. So if we want to be up by 5, we need to be asleep by 9. It is a very rare occurrence for me to be in bed by 9 - I have to be sick or not have gotten any sleep the night before. I guess we'll have to figure out a way to get to bed earlier. I don't know why going to bed early makes you feel like an old person. It's not like anything exciting happens after 9 during the week. At least, not in my life. We end up staying up to watch TV shows that we can easily DVR or watch on demand. Or we end up playing on the computer/internet until 11 or midnight. I went to sleep around 11 last night because I was finishing up some laundry and who knows what time the hubs went to sleep. I told him there was no way we were going to get up at 5. Just being realistic. But today, I'm sleepy....and trying to figure out how to get some energy without drinking caffeine...If anyone has any magic pills or spells I can use, let me know.

Looking Pretty

I guess I did something right because I looked a hot mess after the gym last night. I left red-faced, hair a mess and falling out of my ponytail, and dripping in sweat. Plus my tank top was so soaked with sweat it got all stretched out. Not pretty.

To say that I am exhausted today is an understatement. The hubs and I got our double workout in yesterday. Woot! One of my long term goals is to try a new exercise every month. I accomplished it last night...sort of. I haven't done kickboxing in over a year and I'm definitely rusty so I consider it a "new" exercise. Strike totally kicked out butts. I was already tired within the first 10 minutes of class. I forgot how incredibly challenging that class is. I know the hubs felt the same way. When class was over, he told me he didn't want to do hot yoga. He said he was going to "go run" but I knew that he wouldn't work as hard or as long. Hot yoga was 75 mins. But I was able to convince him to do yoga with me. It felt sooo good to get everything stretched out. The teacher was slower than I'm used to but it was nice since the room was so hot. Since we did back-to-back classes, we didn't get home until about 10 pm. The hubby hadn't eaten dinner beforehand, like I told him to, so he ate when we got home. I don't like eating late but was also hungry so I had some pita chips and hummus. YUM. I also let myself eat ONE chocolate covered macadamia nut - I ate in in 3 pieces to savor the flavor. To give you a better idea, they are about the size of 1.5 peanut M&Ms. I made myself drink a whole glass of water to keep from wanting more.

I took a 800 mg ibuprofen before bed last night because I was already feeling so sore! The soreness today is a lot worse but I brought my gym bag anyway. There aren't any classes that I want to take so I think I will just run on the treadmill. I am still training for the 5K. I have yet to finish week 3 - I think I'll do that today. Looks like an hour of cardio (treadmill and elliptical) is in my very near future. As long as I don't pass out from sleepiness first.......zzzzzzzzzz

Promise

This is more than just my November promise. This is a life promise to myself. 

It is so easy to eat well and stick to a workout plan during the week and then my plan falls to $h!t over the weekend. Here's the breakdown of the last few days.

Saturday: Crappy weather meant a lazy day spent in bed catching up on all our favorite shows. I didn't work out but tried to balance that with good food choices - a hearty breakfast, light lunch (shakeology) and pho for dinner. We had fried and fresh spring rolls as well...oops. Too good to pass up.

Sunday: We pretty much ate out all day on Sunday celebrating my mom's birthday. I was able to do 45 mins of cardio at the gym. I made all right choices and made sure not to pig out too much.

Monday: We signed up for a new gym. Well, sort of new as it was my old gym. Gold's wasn't cutting it anymore since they don't offer too many classes so the hubs and I went back to Lifetime Fitness. It costs 2x Gold's but I think it's worth it. Plus we aren't tied down to a contract since it's month to month so at least if we don't use it, we can cancel at any time. But we will use it! For signing up we got MYLT dollars that we are using for Team Fitness. Team Fitness is basically bootcamp light. It's for people who are trying to get in better shape. Because signing up took forever (we got there around 7 and didn't leave until about 8:30) and didn't eat before, we went straight to dinner and skipped the workout.

Tuesday: It was G-no's (my bro-in-law) birthday so we had dinner out. I ate fairly light but because dinner was late (didn't start until about 7:30) and was in the city, we didn't get home until after 10. Again, no workout.

So today, I plan on making up for the lack of working out the past couple of days. The hubby and I are trying to take Strike (a kickboxing class) and hot yoga at the gym tonight. A double - I hope we last! I took Strike once a week for about 10 months but haven't taken it in a year since Gold's didn't offer it. I'm hoping Strike invigorates us for yoga...

Today looks promising. Tomorrow looks even better!